Not depresso

So I thought I would be double depresso

after last night, but I'm not: just a little bit drained

Doing a drew Luis' style

No Reason

Sometimes you find yourself in double depresso merdiatto for no reason at all

F

Duck duck duck duck duck

And not in a good way 

And by the way Mr Predictive Text: you ain't fooling nobody

DD is not a size

I found a cure

It worked.

Don't forget children , when faced with double depresso, get out there, visit a gallery, go draw at some museum, or park, or cafe, text a friend to meet you anywhere, and slowly drag yourself out of  it.

It's not medicine, the best cure for pain is to find a distraction.

Finding a Cure or Ominous Angsty Dribble of Nonsense

So my own theory to get through the double depresso is to get out of the house and like, do stuff.

And today we are extreme-testing it by literally dragging our feet to meet el Drew and visit 2 degree shows. Can't think of a worse idea. Looking at art instead of making it. Ngngn

And obvs all these doses of double depressos aren't good for decent writing, esp in a crowded train courtesy of those pesky engineering works. 

I feel ugly and fat. And  I'm riding the ugly train. 

1st Smile of the day : I found a copy of The Sun, I should keep it in case it all gets too much.

Here's ominousity picture cos like you can't be expected to read this

angsty dribble 

Nihilistic Entry

Fuck

Make Your Own Damn Coffee

Wouldn't it be far easier to just take me out of the equation all together? Just have a huge walk-in vending machine. Why even bother with cups? Just have a hose that pumps a mixture of caffeine, milk and sugar directly into your stomach.

Muffin CAM

The View From Here

CBBTW part 2! Who'd have thought

Can't b bothered to write but happier, plus image says all

CBBTW

Can't b bothered to write

Exoneration of Head Doctors

On the other hand I feel better knowing I have a condition: doctors who make up silly names, like SAD syndrome, it's all forgiven, now I know you are just trying to make people feel that there is nothing wrong with them

Although M thinks it's an excuse to push pills

Still, I like my Atychiphobia, now I have to conquer it

From creating a new word To hustling for SSRI

Such is the power of the internet.

So I spend for like, ever, to create a new word:

 And just when I try to make sure I'm the first to do so (which I am, credit, period), I  half smile at the ironic discovery of how google suggests to me to look up the following

Yes, people of various and fluid genders (boys and girls sounds better but I won't compromise politics for beauty), FEAR OF FAILURE

And if you're wondering:

Tragic, huh?

Anyone got a stash of SSRI somewhere?

PS my artist career depends on it, apparently, making art is just not enough, people have to know I do

Applying for stuff: #etisiphobia

Except I don't, take the following studio Voltaire thing, I'll think about it, I'll read about it, I may tell someone, I'll panic about it, I'll tell myself the day after the deadline it wasn't for me, whilst secretly feeling a failure.

Only this time I'm blogging about it, cry for help or exhibitionist shame?

PS Am I the only artist never to have applied to anything? And if so, any counselling services that deal with that? 

PS 2 I did apply to staedelschule and RA, so not completely useless

No Ruddy Picnic

They say rock stars start their day in the afternoon. No Bloody picnic.

Happy Ending

Not happy, obvs, as I just managed to get out of unproductive studio (unsurprising, not having launched TheSalon properly) to make it to the Kiosk cos I still have faith, but I know I'll have to drag myself to the gym, aided by probably being too late for a beer. 

Warning:

DoubleDepresso also affects writing quality

ironY

IronY is writing a blog about the highs & lows of 2 little artists and being too double depresso to even write

WTF or No Mad

Ok, like, that's not what it's why. Why the eff am I double depresso after having come up with No Mad Gallery with el Drew.... 

I know! 

It's the pressure

Geddit?

Anyway, erm, maybe Artist Run Space ARS is too pretentious. Argh now I'm Affogato 

Little voice inside me is saying just do it.... Louder voice also proposing artists combos already

t H e s A L O n

Feel the Magic

The Amazing Windowless World of Catering Interiors

 Metaphor for my life.

 I sat in here for 3 hours polishing glasses.

This is a milk machine.

 The storeroom. A refuge.

 Utility corridors have a unique charm all to themselves. Industrial chic.

The Pit at Douche Bank. Deep below the earth. I often thought about jumping. It would have been ok tho. Would have bounced on the bubble wrap...

I miss college pt 1 of 3 ( dream raw write-out)

I miss college, and L true that my subconscious doesn't know that I have left. I have dreamt of my degree shall setting up my degree show, to make it more relevant and funny are my co- Blogger, was in the dream, to help me set up the lights or rather to find where the lights were and that they were the wrong lights and I needed him to stop fussing, and help me regulating the spotlights, and I wanted to punch them bed in my head in the dream, I realised if I punched him he wouldn't help me so I didn't.  Then there was my good friends good lost friends maybe not so good, he was being horrible surprise surprise to me and my super friend and I can't know super friend was doing and there was also hilarious T who was being hilarious and her friends who was been herself and I think there were are more characters from college and they were all a distillation of who they were when at College. Oh and horribly this was a variant on the recurrent I have an exam and I haven't prepared for it dream: this time, it's degree show, and I didn't realise it was that day and I had some stuff in my studio that I had like had been doing lots of sculptures and I need up on having three of them in the space that's because the space, was in some defused squat or something then the weather like furniture so I managed to make do with what was around and made it into an installation of the poverty that was a head that's that was the panic with the spotlight because of course it was the sculptures that mattered and everything else have to be in the dark and it was 10 minutes to opening time and I was calculating in my head how long it would take for people to get to MySpace, then I panicked about Business cards but then realised I had some in my bag and then I was glad to there was a fire escape in MySpace could come out and have lots of fags and fill the ashtray

Over blogging

FBStaring

Time spent multitaskingly ceilingstaring and FBlooking? 83mns.

This.is.serious.

Urgent action required: eye mask treatment.

CeilingStaring

Dangerous Mix

I WAS going to blog about The Salon but I can't, I'm triple shot.

Oh yes: triple shot. And if we all know we're not meant to have a triple shot in a double espresso, image the effect of a triple shot on a double depresso.

Because the double depresso is not lifting; swear word, swear word.  So I just had to take to my sofa, for although a double espresso combined with a triple shot is guaranteed to keep you up for hours, my current combo has just plonkingly floored me. Much to my surprise too, since a triple shot is a lethal mixture of rage, anger and fury, and so it ought to activate you. But no, just like double depresso, it is guaranteed to dampen your spirits, swear word knows when I'll get up again.

Newspaper Building Office Break

Lampshades...

 Soothing and calming views...

If you crouch down behind the counter and take a photo, it looks like this...

DD vs DE

Last Wednesday I reported a terrible bout of double depresso. And I thought it'd be over the following day. It wasn't as such, it was a latte with a strong dose of depresso: it wasn't until Friday when I took myself to see my friends' exhibitions that it started to lift, and the following day I processed a thousand images.

And that is the difference with a double expresso hit, it may hit as hard but it lasts way longer, like Sedna's orbit

Serving Refreshment to the New World Order

Working hospitality at a central London University I came across this.
I used to read about the New World Order on conspiracy sites.
Now I serve them light refreshments.
Whats next for Europe?
Nibbles?

 'They' wear office casual.

I wear black trousers, black shirt and black shoes. All black. The uniform of the witch. (Blue gloves are optional)

I'm one of those people you see carting round a trolly full of plates. We are faceless.

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